I dont know how to start this, but maybe I've portrayed myself in this blog as a really cheerful girl who is always in "hyper mode" , always smiling. No one knows, sometimes, just suddenly, I feel lonely...
Its 11.02pm now and I'm tired from a whole day out. However, I just need to get some stuffs out of my mind. I'm not even thinking properly now and I'm just writing whatever's coming to my mind. Forgive me if I repeat anything again and again/ make any spelling mistakes/ etc, because I wont be checking again.
Oops, I think I got off-topic. :/
Oh yes, loneliness.
This whole holiday have been really wholesome. Everything is awesome, everyday was quite packed. Heading out with family and friends and cliques almost every single day. However, every night when I'm on the computer, after I've finished with the usual surfing, I sat there staring. Suddenly, I'll feel lonelier than ever.
Sigh, this is me. You cannot leave me on a cold night, listening to music. I'll turn emo.
Sometimes, tear comes for no reason too, just like now.
But I found the reason now, its loneliness.
You see, I have many friends, but I dont feel that any of them can be my BFF. Yes, all of them are great friends, but they just remain there in my heart. I know I might hurt you guys, but thats how I feel. Because deep in my heart, I've stop trusting. Problem isnt with you girls, but on me.
Its 11:11pm now, I hope I can start trusting.
I dont know since when have I become like this. I used to trust people really easily, pure naive and innocent. I know what you people are thinking: "so you think you're innocent eh?" .
Yep, but I only said the past me was innocent. Ask me now? I'm not anymore.
I know so much more about life, how people betrays and backstabs. How people hate. How people can be so... I cannot find the words. Cunning? Something close to that.
The world used to be really simple to me. Everyone is friends, no one hates, and definitely no lying. Hah, how naive was I?
Life, is complicated.
Sigh, I think I'm just being too insecure. :/
I need to start learning how to trust people more. Or maybe, just stop being so greedy, and also stubborn, and bitchy too.
I'm tired. Goodnight, complicated world.
5 comments:
Hey, listen up, you are not lonely. you have great friends and you know they always will be behind and beside you, supporting you, helping you, cheering you on and loving you 24/7! you're not alone, there's a world out there that cares about you. everybody is scared of loneliness, but it is how they combats and face it! If you feel lonely again, go and watch some real funny videos like rwj or your fave movies or shows! cheer up! you have xinwen, jiahong, peiqi, me, maegy, everybody! If you're feeling lonely, go and talk to people! or listen to some rock music and not those emoemo type! you're not alone, girll, we're here for you and always will! you can trust us! okay? CHEERUP! BE HYPER! dont lose faith and hope; you're a really great and awesome girl! we love ya and we always will! dont be sad anymore, okay? SMILEZXC MORE!!!!! :D
I LOVE YOU!!!! <3
Huixin
Thanks. :) :) :)
I just suddenly turned emo for no reason, maybe PMS?!?! :S LOL. But it feels so much better after writing all these down. Dont worry, I'll still be the happy siao char bor meeeeeee! :D
LOVE YOU TOO!! ^^
There's no way for me to say mushy things like Huixin lurh. ^_^
But then, like she said, we will be here for you. Cheerup uh.
If sien or want chat can call or sms me one.
<3
Xiaoqi
Haha. Thanks, again! ^^ Okie, I will prank call and spammmmmmmmmm!!!!!! :P
Post a Comment